Arthur's Tale
by MildlyInsane
Summary: Alternate tale of Arthur Pendragon's involvement in Shrek 3. A bit in the beginning is similar to how it happened in the movie, but the rest is quite different. How will Arthur and Shrek overthrow King Charming and restore Far Far Away?
1. Worcestershire

**Good day. I started writing this a few months ago and then forgot about it, but I guess I'll start writing it again. This is pretty much Shrek 3 told in Arthur's point of view, but with a few plot changes, so you won't just be reading exactly what happens in the film. Some things are pretty much the same, but I've changed some things as well to keep it interesting. Also, the beginning here has a bit of background on Arthur as well. The story follows Arthur, so Fiona and the princesses might not be in this story very much, if they are at all. I've got a few more chapters already written, but haven't finished this yet, so I'm not sure how it will end. :) So, enjoy: **

**Chapter 1**

Something Arthur Pendragon often wondered about was the possibility of the entire world having a secret plot against him. It sounded crazy, but he couldn't recall ever having met anyone who was on his side. Even his own family seemed to be against him. His father had shipped him off to school far away from his home and he didn't even know his mother. She had either died when he was too young to have remembered anything about her, or perhaps she had run off somewhere. Arthur's dad never felt the need to tell him anything about his mother, so he didn't really know if she was alive or dead.

At his new school, he had been one of the smaller, younger students, was nervous, quiet, and honestly a great target for bullies. The school, Worcestershire Academy was a high school; most of the students there were between the ages of fourteen and eighteen. Arthur however, upon arriving, was only twelve. Arthur's father wanted to be rid of him as quickly as possible, it seemed, and bribed the administrators into letting Arthur into the high school earlier than the normal age requirement suggested. Arthur was embarrassed by the fact that he was younger than everyone else, so tried to pretend he was fourteen, fooling some, but not most. The other students took this opportunity to single him out as being odd, different, and therefore not cool. Not only did the other students bully him, but even the professors didn't seem to care when they witnessed one of the bigger students picking on Arthur. The professors would laugh at the jokes students made about Arthur, and do absolutely nothing to help him.

Because of this, Arthur learned quickly not to go to anyone for any sort of assistance. Everyone in the school seemed to take pleasure in seeing him hurt, so he knew not to trust anyone. At first, Arthur had tried to make friends, but after a while, he gave up on everyone but a girl named Gwen. He didn't know why he loved her so much. She made fun of him, just like everyone else, but something about her just made his heart ache. He didn't at all like how his life was going thus far, but thought if he could just have Gwen as his girlfriend, everything would be okay. He saw her as the most beautiful girl he had ever met, and at his young age, he didn't even consider her rude personality when he decided he loved her.

As much as he felt he was in love with her, however, the feeling was not mutual. Gwen turned him down every time, but she was the one person he wouldn't give up on. He had nothing to lose, so he would ask her to go on a date with him every so often, already knowing her answer, but hoping it might change. She would always make some sort of rude remark, Arthur would feel only slightly disappointed, as the reply was not at all unexpected, and then he would go about his day, trying his best to avoid everyone.

Arthur wished he had friends. Even the chess club and dungeons and dragons geeks had friends, each other, but would not accept him into their circle. The 'popular' kids didn't like the chess club or the kids who played dungeons and dragons, and made fun of them about half as much as they made fun of Arthur. Even though the geeky students were hated by the popular students, they would not be seen befriending Arthur either, just because they knew they would be seen as lower on the ladder of high school popularity rank. Everyone in the school already belonged to a social circle of some sort. Arthur, being a complete outcast, was not accepted into any of said circles. He was always on the lookout for new students, whom he could befriend before they learned of his reputation, but they would soon be snatched away and turned against him.

Because he had no friends, and didn't want to be bullied, he tried to spend most of his free time alone in his dorm room. He didn't have a room-mate, because no one was willing to room with him, so he would just sit alone and dream of a better life.

His room didn't provide complete safety, however. Sometimes when someone wanted to pick on him, they wouldn't wait for him to leave his room, but would rather come right in. The rooms didn't have locks on the doors, so if someone wanted to come into his room, they could easily do so, and sometimes did. Arthur also could not avoid being bullied during the day when he had classes and was forced out of hiding in order to attend class. He would skip class sometimes, but he could only skip so many times before the professors would keep a close watch over him and make sure he went to class, which he preferred not to have happen.

He wasn't getting good grades. He found keeping his limbs intact and preventing insults aimed at him was more important than making it to class on time. Being preoccupied with this allowed little time for him to manage any sort of school work, but he figured the teachers would probably all fail him even if he did go to class and do the work, as they all seemed to loathe him. Additionally, he had started school earlier than everyone else, and though he was now fourteen years old, he was still expected to know just as much as any other student who had been there for two years, even though they were all sixteen.

Today he was walking from the main building back to the residence building where the students' rooms were. It wasn't a long walk, but it was long enough for him to be spotted by Lancelot, the person who hated him more than anyone. Lancelot was the school jock and captain of the jousting team. He seemed to think it necessary to torment Arthur as much as possible, both because he found it funny as well as because he knew the other students would look up to him more for it. It was seen as 'cool' to bully Arthur, so he definitely needed to do so in order to upkeep his reputation.

"Hey, Loser!" Lancelot called from behind Arthur.

Arthur ignored him and quickened his pace. He couldn't count on anyone to help him, but thought maybe... just maybe, Lancelot would leave him alone once he reached his room.

No such luck... Lancelot quickened his pace as well, quickly catching up to Arthur, "Loser!" he yelled again, grabbing Arthur's shoulder roughly and turning him around, "Hey Loser... I'm talking to you."

Arthur frowned, "what do you want?" he asked, not wanting to talk in circles. If Lancelot was going to do something cruel to him, he'd rather just get it over with.

"What do I want?" Lancelot repeated the question, "I've got jousting practice, and none of the guys want to go up against me... because they know how good I am," he beamed, "So... I'm gonna need a target to practice on..."

Arthur's eyes widened. He had endured a lot over the years, but he had never been a jousting target. Jousting looked incredibly painful, and he was not going to let Lancelot use him as a practice target if he could avoid it. He shook his head, denying Lancelot's request, "No... I've got something else... I have to do..."

"It wasn't a question, Loser," Lancelot informed him, "I'm not _asking you_... I'm _telling you._ Now come on," he said, pulling Arthur roughly buy his arm.

"No!" Arthur gasped, trying with all of his strength to pull out of the older boy's grasp, "If you think I'm going to just sit on a horse and wait for you to hit me, you're wrong," Arther pleaded, "I'm not going to hold still and wait for you to hit me. You can drag me out there, but you can't make me stay."

"Oh, can't I?" Lancelot retorted, as he stopped dragging Arthur and turned to face him, "You can do this, or we can do something else... and the something else involves me breaking your arms... and you know I will..."

Arthur paled. He knew for a fact that Lancelot wouldn't hesitate to deliver on this threat. Lancelot had broken his arm once before, and his collar bone... and it was no accident, so Arthur knew he had no choice. He would either be the jousting team's practice dummy, or have his arms broken by Lancelot.

The thought of being the target scared him, but at least he would likely be wearing padding, and his bones would probably not be broken, though it was not guaranteed. At least this way he _might_ get out of the situation virtually unharmed. He tried to prevent himself from shaking, because he knew it would only further Lancelot's jokes about him being a wimp. However, he was so nervous he couldn't stop himself from trembling as Lancelot dragged him along.

Before long, he was on the jousting field. Lancelot shoved a padded vest at him, with a wooden target sign on the chest. Arthur shakily put it on, feeling very embarrassed already. His embarrassment was furthered when Lancelot shoved a bucket with eye holes over his head, laughing with his peers as he did so.

Lancelot even went so far as to give Arthur a jousting lance of his own, but he knew the smaller boy wouldn't attempt to use it. Arthur knew any attempt to win the jousting match would probably only end in his arm being broken, as he didn't know how to use a jousting lance properly. It would be better for him to just let Lancelot do what he wanted and be done with it.

As Lancelot went over to his horse, Arthur climbed onto the horse at the other end of the field. The horse wasn't the tamest horse at the school, and if he could have chosen which horse to be near, this one would have been his last choice.

The horse seemed agitated, so Arthur patted it, "good horse..." he said, his voice shaking.

Lancelot, across the field, was now ready. Arthur braced himself, closed his eyes, and waited.

**xxxxxx**

**Thank you for reading. Please review. and be nice, because this is my first Shrek story... I'm unseasoned as of yet in the Shrek department, so hopefully this is the sort of thing Shrek fans like to read. :) I'll be updating some time soon. Have a great day. :)**


	2. Heir to the throne

**_Note before I start: A few times in this story, I took events which actually happened in the movie and used them, along with rough quotations from the character's dialog. I am not sure if all of the dialog is correctly quoted, so I didn't mark these sections, but if you've seen the movie, you'll probably know which parts actually happened. I did try, for the most part, however, to change things quite a bit... and even though I loved Merlin in the movie, he's not in this version..._**

**_So... Disclaimer (which I always forget to do in the first chapter...) I don't known Shrek or anything about Shrek. I'm not making any sort of profit off this, nor do I intend to try to make any profit, nor do I think anyone would be willing to pay to read anything I've written. I'm writing this because I am bored. That is all. :)_**

**_Chapter 2_**

The joust hit right on it's target, the target sign on Arthur's chest. The impact knocked Arthur backwards, off of the horse and onto the hard ground, knocking all of the air out of his lungs in the process. For a moment, Arthur remained completely still, concentrating only on breathing. He shuddered as he finally managed to catch his breath, but stayed right on the ground where he had landed. He had landed hard and wondered if he might have any broken bones. He wasn't sure if he even could move if he tried, but at the moment he didn't want to move, and remained still. Maybe if Lancelot thought he was dead he would just run off, leaving him alone for once.

As he lay with his eyes closed, listening to the voices of other students, he heard someone say his name. He didn't recognize the voice, but didn't really care.

Arthur winced as he felt pressure on his stomach as someone stepped on him. When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find it wasn't Lancelot, but an ogre, accompanied by a cat wearing a hat and boots, and a donkey.

"Oops... sorry, kid," the ogre apologized. His voice was the one he had heard earlier, saying his name.

Arthur wondered how the ogre knew his name, "did you just say you were looking for Arthur?" he asked, wondering what the ogre wanted with him.

"That information is on a need-to-know basis," the cat cut in.

The donkey nodded, and the three of them walked away from Arthur, approaching Lancelot and his friends. Arthur took this to mean either the ogre was indeed looking for him and thought Lancelot was Arthur, or he hadn't actually heard his name, and the ogre, like everyone else, wanted nothing to do with him.

Arthur kept in mind the fact the ogre might be looking for him. Knowing his luck, the ogre was probably looking for him so he could eat him or do something horrible to him, so Arthur didn't want to stick around to find out what the ogre wanted.

He painfully pulled himself up from the ground and stood, waiting for a moment before leaving, as his head spun when he stood. He closed his eyes for a moment until he felt less dizzy. Removing the padding and bucket-helmet and throwing them on the ground, he turned and walked quickly away, looking over his shoulder at the scene of Lancelot being interrogated by the ogre. The ogre dropped Lancelot and glanced in Arthur's direction, looking right at him. Arthur knew the ogre was in fact looking for him, so he ran off as quickly as he could.

As he ran, he frequently looked over his shoulder, to make sure the ogre wasn't following him. In doing so, he wasn't watching where he was running, and ran directly into someone, causing himself to fall backward. He looked up at the person he had collided with. It was another member of the jousting team, a tall and muscular boy named Jack, who, like Lancelot... and everyone else, loved teasing Arthur.

"Sorry," Arthur lied, as he wasn't at all sorry, but hoped the older student wouldn't beat him to a pulp. He got up from the ground and glanced behind himself again. He didn't see the ogre, but he still wanted to get out of the general area, just in case.

"Why are you running?" the older boy asked, smirking.

Arthur narrowed his eyes, "There's an ogre... you might want to run too," He said, trying to scare the older boy into leaving him alone.

"Someone told me the ogre is looking for you," Jack said, "Is that true?"

Arthur shook his head, "no... I'm sure they were just making it up..." he lied, "why would an ogre look specifically for me? Whoever you heard it from was lying, obviously."

The jouster grabbed Arthur's upper arm, "let's go ask him," he laughed.

Arthur tried to pull away, but this boy, like everyone else, was stronger than he, "Let go of me!" he yelled, "why would the ogre be looking for me?" Arthur was beginning to panic. He didn't want to be turned over to the ogre for fear of what he would do to him, "There is no ogre!" he desperately lied, "there isn't an ogre... it's a rumour."

The older boy laughed, "I saw the ogre, Artie... and someone told me he was looking for 'Arthur Pendragon...' and that's you."

"But.... no! Wait!" Arthur pleaded. He pulled his arm away from the other boy, very surprised he was able to do so. Realizing he could run now, he did just that, running away from the jouster who was following close behind him.

"You're in for it now, Artie!" the older boy called after him, "what did I tell you about running away, hm? You've gotta be a man, not a little wimp who runs away all the time. And you wonder why everyone makes fun of you!"

This comment made Arthur angry. He wasn't a wimp. What was he supposed to do when the entire school was against him? What should he do when someone twice his size cornered him? It wasn't a fair fight. He would be a fool not to run. Nevertheless, this piece of logic temporarily escaped his mind as he turned around, ready to face the jouster. He knew facing Jack wouldn't make anyone think any more of him. He would lose the fight, and no one would praise him for standing up to the older boy. They would all hate him just as much. Nevertheless, he didn't want to just run... Not this time.

Jack caught up with him quickly. Arthur looked angry, which only made him laugh, "you gonna be all tough now?" the older boy laughed.

Arthur didn't say anything. Instead, he lunged at the other boy, knocking him off his feet. Jack was much stronger than Arthur, however, and soon stood up, dragging Arthur with him. He pushed him back against a stone wall, holding him firmly in place by the arms.

Arthur knew he had lost this fight, but wanted to try to prevent the other boy from hitting him, which it looked like he planned on doing, "You think you're so tough?" Arthur asked, "if you were really tough, you'd leave me alone and go fight someone else... like Lancelot. You're a wimp compared to him, and everyone knows it. He's the one you should be fighting with."

His attempt to advert the bully's attention elsewhere failed, "You do NOT call me a wimp, loser!" he yelled, clearly angry, shaking Arthur.

"If you weren't a wimp then you wouldn't be picking on me!" Arthur yelled, "You think I'm a wimp for running from you, but you're the wimp, for targeting me in the first place! What's the matter? You can't win a fight against anyone else? So you just pick fights with me? I know I'm not tough. I admit that... But at least I don't pick on people smaller than me!"

Jack looked very angry now, "I could win a fight against anyone... even Lance," he began, "I pick on _you_ because you're a _loser_! And you're gonna be _very_ sorry you called me a wimp!" Arthur felt Jack release his hold on one of his arms, but tighten his grip on the other. Jack had let go of one of his arms so he could hit Arthur with his free hand.

There was really no use in fighting. If Arthur struggled, Jack would probably just hit him more times, whereas if he just let the older boy get in a few good punches without a fight, he would probably end up less hurt. Arthur closed his eyes as he saw the larger boy draw back his fist, preparing to hit him. Before he was hit, however, Arthur felt the grip on his arm release. The boy's fist never struck him. He opened his eyes, wondering what he was waiting for. He jumped slightly when he saw the ogre standing before him. The older boy had run off, as apparently the ogre scared him... _and he said he wasn't a wimp..._ Arthur thought.

Arthur was actually grateful of the new presence in place of Jack. Arthur had heard horrible stories about ogres in the past, but hadn't ever actually met an ogre. But this ogre didn't look too similar to the stereotypical images of ogres he had seen in books or had imagined. At least the ogre wasn't covered in blood or wielding some horrific weapon. He really just looked like a normal human, only bigger... and more green. Perhaps the ogre didn't want to kill him and eat him after all. Maybe he was here for some other reason.

"Are you Arthur Pendragon?" the ogre asked.

Arthur narrowed his eyes, "why?" he asked, "...who are you?"

"Shrek," the ogre answered, "I'm looking for Arthur because he is the heir to the throne of Far Far Away. Are you Arthur?" he repeated the question.

Arthur wasn't sure if the ogre was telling the truth, "For real?" he asked.

The ogre sighed, as if he was tired, "Are you Arthur or not?" he asked.

Arthur nodded, "Yeah," he said, only slightly reluctantly. At this point, even if the ogre did mean to kill him, at least he wouldn't have to live at the school any longer, "_I'm_ the heir?" he asked, "is this some kind of a joke?"

"Not at all," Shrek replied, in a tone which was almost sarcastic.

"I'm _the only_ heir?" Arthur asked, thinking there must be some sort of trick behind this, "I'm the next in line? Seriously?" He was not exactly lucky... and becoming a king didn't really seem like something that would happen to him in reality.

"The one and only," Shrek replied.

Though he still had a hint of doubt, Arthur couldn't help but feel excited about the possibility of himself becoming a king. He knew he had relatives in the royal blood line, but he assumed they had forgotten about him, "So... what do I have to do?" he asked.

"Just come with me, back to Far Far Away, and that's it... That's all there is to it," Shrek informed him, "We've got a ship; you just have to get on board, come back with us, and you'll be king."

Arthur narrowed his eyes. This was starting to look suspicious. Why would an ogre be telling him this? His family didn't really associate with ogres... No one did... So why was an ogre sent to retrieve him? Maybe his family hadn't forgotten about him at all, and decided to play a deadly joke on him. He sighed. He figured he might as well trust this guy... at least for now. After all, if the ogre wanted to eat him, he surely would be able to overpower Arthur even if he refused to go with him, "Okay," he agreed.

He followed Shrek, the cat, and the donkey to the boat, without even talking to anyone at his school first.

"Don't you maybe have some friends to say goodbye to?" the cat asked as they walked.

Arthur shook his head, "No," he said, not elaborating any further.

The cat and donkey looked at each other uneasily for a moment. Then the donkey decided to change the subject, running up and jumping right in front of Arthur, grinning widely.

"You must think we are so rude," the donkey yelled out... "Shrek is at least, for not introducing us. I'm Donkey," the donkey told Arthur.

Arthur raised his eyebrows, "and is that 'Cat?'" he asked, sarcastically, laughing at his own joke.

"No, señor," the cat cut in, "I am Puss... (in boots)."

Arthur smiled. The ogre was likely not going to kill him, he thought, or else he wouldn't be traveling with such odd companions.

They made it to the ship rather quickly, all the while receiving puzzled glances from the high school students. Everyone at the school knew who Arthur was, and no one liked him, yet they were all wondering why he was leaving with the ogre.

"I hope the ogre eats him," one of the boys laughed, talking to his friends.

Arthur ignored the other boy but looked up at Shrek, "Can we go now?" he asked, clearly quite ready to leave all of this behind him.

Shrek nodded. They boarded the ship and began their journey back to Far Far Away.

**_xxxxxx_**

**_Weeee!! Leave me a review, please. :) I'd appreciate it._**


	3. Aboard the ship

_**Alright... Things will turn away from the original plot line in this chapter... So don't expect everything to stay the same as it was in the film. :) And sorry it is taking so so long between updates... I probably shouldn't have started posting three different stories right before the end of the semester...**_

_**xxxxxx**_

**Chapter 3**

The ship had been sailing for about an hour. Shrek and Arthur were standing in uncomfortable silence when Arthur finally spoke up.

"So... I guess this is really real then..." he said.

Shrek nodded, "Sure is," he replied.

"This is going to be so awesome!" Arthur smiled, "Do you think tons princesses will all want to marry me?" he asked.

Shrek looked down at the boy. He seemed very immature, but Shrek really didn't want to be the king, and surely Arthur wasn't as immature as he seemed. Maybe he was just short for his age... He had to be at least fourteen at any rate, since he was at a high school, "Yeah," Shrek answered, "They'll be lining up to meet you."

"Wow," Arthur said dreamily, "I'll have tons of girlfriends... and money... No one will tell me what to do... I mean... I know it won't be _all_ fun and games..."

"It really is all fun and games, actually," Shrek cut in, wanting to say anything he could to keep the boy from changing his mind. Arthur was a teen-aged boy. Naturally, he was more than excited about becoming a king, but he would likely become scared away from the idea just as easily at any mention of the responsibility which comes with being king.

"I'm not stupid," Arthur looked up at Shrek, "I know there's responsibility involved. But I think it will be worth it."

"Of course it will," Shrek assured him.

"Indeed," Puss began, "it is a very glorified position. You'll be responsible for leading the entire kingdom."

Arthur nodded.

"In times of peace, and war..." Puss continued.

Arthur began to look nervous.

"But there is never war there," Shrek cut in, "You probably won't have to worry about it... Surely you won't... yeah... most definitely you won't need to worry about war..."

Arthur didn't look convinced.

"You'll be safe though, señor," the cat assured him, "You will have your own body guards, and royal food testers."

"Food testers?" Arthur asked, "what do they do?"

"They taste your food first... to makes sure it's not poisoned," Puss informed.

"Poisoned?" Arthur asked, looking more and more worried by the second.

"Or... too salty," Shrek added, giving the cat a death stare. Shrek turned his attention to the cat, turning his back to Arthur, "are you trying to scare him?" he asked.

The cat shook his head, "no, señor... I am simply telling him how his life will be. Wouldn't you want him to be aware of the dangers of being king in addition to the advantages?"

"No!" Shrek muttered, "That's the whole point... _I_ don't want to be king, so I need him to do it... You cannot just scare him off like that... Someone has to be king, and I sure don't want to-" Shrek was cut off as the ship jerked violently, knocking everyone off their feet.

He looked back at the wheel, where Arthur had taken it upon himself to begin turning the ship around. Shrek quickly made his way back to where Arthur was standing, pushed him out of the way, and turned the wheel back in his desired direction.

Arthur quickly grabbed back onto the wheel, "let go!" he yelled, as he found it impossible to turn the wheel with Shrek holding it in place, "I don't want to be king!"

"You have to!" Shrek yelled back at him, easily keeping the wheel from turning, though Arthur continued pulling at it, "It's you're obligation. It's not something you can run away from!"

"If it's such a great job, why don't _you _do it?" Arthur yelled back.

"It's _your_ job, and you're going to do it!" Shrek yelled, "unless you want to go back to being a loser!" he said, trying one last tactic to convince the boy that being the king would be better than going back to the high school.

This comment only made Arthur angry. He frowned and kicked Shrek hard in the leg. Shrek let go of the wheel when Arthur did this. Arthur took this opportunity to grab the wheel and turn it as quickly as he could. Then Shrek grabbed it again, pulling it the other way, knocking Arthur to the floor in the process.

Arthur knew it was no use trying to turn the ship just yet, as Shrek was much too strong to overpower, so instead, he kicked at Shrek's shins, "you can't make me be king!"

Tired of Arthur kicking him, Shrek turned to face the boy. He could see in Arthur's eyes that he was both angry and nervous. The boy didn't know the ogre at all, and for all he knew, angering him could lead to his death. Even though Shrek could tell he was somewhat frightened, Arthur stood his ground, staring at the ogre, even when the ogre grabbed his shoulders.

"There's no turning back now, kid," Shrek yelled, "it's you job."

Arthur scowled, "don't you have some babies to eat? A village to massacre?" he asked, trying to make the ogre feel like as much of an outcast as he felt, "why don't you just leave me alone? Get someone else to be the king."

Still holding firmly onto Arthur's shoulders, Shrek continued the repetitive conversation, "people are depending on you now, Arthur," he said, "what will they do if their king won't do his job?"

"I don't care!" Arthur yelled, finally trying to pull away from the ogre's grasp, "Let go of me!" he yelled.

Shrek was going to say more to try to convince him when he noticed Arthur's eyes grow wide, and his struggling increased. Arthur wasn't looking at Shrek, but rather over the ogre's shoulder. Shrek glanced over his shoulder as well, seeing the ship heading toward some very sharp rocks, which were quickly becoming closer to the ship.

The ogre let go of Arthur, pushing him to the side and rushing to the wheel, turning it as quickly as he could. However, the rocks were too near. Shrek couldn't turn the wheel fast enough and the ship collided with the rocks. The collision was devastating to the ship, causing it to sink within a few minutes. Fortunately they were close to an island, and swam ashore.

Shrek, with Puss in Boots clinging to his back, swam ashore, with Donkey swimming behind him. Arthur swam a distance away from the others, as he was presently angry with Shrek for not allowing him to turn back, and ultimately crashing the ship, though he was partially to blame as well.

Arthur wasn't a great swimmer, but managed to make it to shore. He coughed a few times and then laid down in the sand. The water was cold and the air was not much warmer. He breathed in, glad to be on land instead of in the ocean.

Shrek glared over at the boy. Puss in Boots laid down on a fallen tree, licking his fur, as Donkey stood next to Shrek, "He's going to be king," Shrek muttered, "whether he likes it or not."

"Aww... come on, Shrek," Donkey suggested, "why don't you just cut him some slack? He's not gonna want to listen to you if you're all mean to him and stuff."

"He needs to take responsibility for this," Shrek argued, "it's his responsibility..."

"It's _your_ responsibility," Donkey reminded him.

Shrek glared down at Donkey.

"Maybe you should make sure he's okay," Donkey suggested, "he isn't moving."

Shrek sighed, walked over to the boy, and kicked his foot.

Arthur opened one eye and looked up at Shrek, "What do you want?" he asked in a very rebellious teenager sort of tone.

"Come on," Shrek ordered.

"No," Arthur protested, "just leave me alone. I'm not going with you; you can't make me."

"I'm not just going to leave you here," Shrek told him, "Even if you won't be king... which you need to do... I can't just leave you out here all alone, because Fiona would kill me."

Arthur laughed, "Whatever. Fiona doesn't care. I don't think she even knows who I am... I sure don't know who she is."

"Come on," Shrek said again, "I mean it... I'm not going to ask you again."

"Ooooh," Arthur mocked, "what are you gonna do?"

Shrek raised his eyebrow, reached down and picked Arthur up.

"Hey! Put me down!" Arthur yelled, grabbing at Shrek's fingers which held tightly onto his waist. He tried to pry the ogre's fingers away, but it was useless.

"I'll put you don't if you agree to come with me," Shrek offered.

Arthur scowled at him, "Fine... Whatever."

Shrek put him down. Arthur immediately started to run off, but Shrek quickly grabbed his arm, holding onto him tightly.

"Ow!" Arthur cried out, "You can't make me go with you!"

Their argument was cut short as they both noticed a very large ship approaching the island. It looked like a pirate ship.

Shrek didn't know much about pirates, but he did know they were often unfriendly. Keeping ahold of Arthur's arm, he pulled the boy along with him, followed by the donkey and cat, further into the forest of the island. All the while, Arthur was trying to escape his grasp.

When Shrek felt they made it far enough, he turned to Arthur, "it doesn't matter if you are still insistent on not being the king... I think it would be pretty stupid of you to run around alone on this island and be captured or killed by pirates."

"What are we supposed to do then?" Arthur asked, "just all stand here _together_ in the middle of the woods forever?"

"Well... maybe someone lives around here..." Shrek wondered aloud, "we can look around... maybe they'll help us... Now, are you going to run off? Or can I let go of you and trust you to not get yourself killed?"

"I won't run off. We're on an island, right? I couldn't get far anyway," Arthur told him.

"Good," Shrek let go of his arm, but kept an eye on him as they walked around, searching for any occupants of the island. After about twenty minutes, they hadn't found any sign of life.

"We're gonna die aren't we?" Donkey yelled out, clearly starting to panic, "those pirates are going to kill us!"

"Shh, Donkey," Shrek assured him, "we don't even know if the pirates are on the island... The ship may have gone right by... and we don't even know for sure that it was a pirate ship. So you don't have to worry about anything. Let's just keep looking for-"

Shrek stopped in mid-sentence when he heard Arthur gasp from behind him. He turned around to see what looked like a tree had grabbed ahold of Arthur. Another tree grabbed Puss in Boots as the cat threatened it with his sword.

Shrek narrowed his eyes. Yet another tree reached for Donkey, who dove out of it's reach and hid behind Shrek.

Arthur and Puss were both struggling to escape, but the tree-like creatures held them tightly.

"Wait just a second!" Shrek yelled out, trying to reason with the creatures, "Who are you?"

Before the creatures could answer, a man walked out of the forest and began speaking. He was dressed like a stereotypical pirate, "They, like meself, be workin' fer Mr. Charming... He's set ta be the new king of Far Far Away, an' needs ta make sure no one stands in 'is way."

"Then let me go!" interrupted Arthur, "I don't want to be the king, so you don't have to worry about me! If someone else wants to do it, then let them!"

Shrek glared at Arthur, but before he could say anything, the pirate continued.

"Ye are all ta be taken into custody, as prisoners of the new king," he informed them.

At this, Shrek considered the fact that Fiona had remained in Far Far Away, and with Charming attempting to steal the throne, Fiona might be in trouble. He scowled at the pirate, "Where's Fiona?" he asked.

"She's fine... A prisoner as well," the pirate informed him, "no one is ta be harmed as long as Charming gets what's rightfully his... Well... no one except you an' this guy," the pirate added, gesturing towards Arthur and chuckling to himself.

Arthur looked worried and shocked at the same time, "what!? But I said I don't care! He can be the king! I'm not going to fight him.... Just let me go!"

"And how be I suppose'n ta trust yer words, young lad?" the pirate countered.

Arthur frowned, "I... I don't know..." He looked down, as if giving up. He was used to not having any say in such matters. When he had thought going with the ogre would beat staying at the school, perhaps he had miscalculated. It seemed people outside of the walls of the academy were going to bully him just as much as the students within the school.

The pirate, who had a sword drawn already, pointed the sword at Arthur's chest, "Ye'll come willingly, ogre, or yer friend'll get what's comin' to 'im."

Shrek noticed Arthur looked almost sad, as though he expected the ogre to let the pirate kill him. Shrek didn't exactly get along with the kid, but he knew just because he was scared to be king and a rebellious teenager didn't mean he deserved death. The ogre followed the tree-creatures and the pirate, willingly, back to the pirate ship, all the while keeping an eye on the pirate, who kept the sword pointed in Arthur's direction. Shrek was looking for an opportunity to catch the pirate off guard, but no opportunity came.

**_xxxxxx_**

**_Thank you for reading. :) I'll try to get the next chapter up faster next time. :)_**


	4. Escape Plan?

**_Author's Note: Oh my gosh! I've had chapters 4, 5, and part of 6 written for MONTHS. I'm so sorry that I completely abandoned the people who were wanting to read on further into this story... I never felt like proof-reading it, so I just left it in a word document and forgot about it... I'm so bored tonight / this morning, at 4:00 am that I decided I might as well publish what I have... I'm about to proof-read Chapter 4 as I write this author's note. If I feel inclined, I'll proof-read chapter 5 and post it soon as well. If not tonight, I'll probably post it within the next couple days, just because it's already written, so I might as well... _**

**_If proof-reading and editing chapters 4 and 5 inspire me and regain my interest in the story, I'll finish chapter 6, write some more chapters, and maybe even finish the whole story! (don't get your hopes up though... as my pen name implies, I'm mildly insane, and never stand by my promises, I guess that doesn't necessarily mean I'm mildly insane; it just means I'm mildly a jerk, huh?) _**

**_So to the 8 people in the world who read Shrek fanfiction, (and to the 2 or 3 people who might read this particular Shrek fanfiction) here you go:_**

xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx

**Chapter 4**

Arthur, Shrek, Puss, and Donkey(who had followed Shrek just out of fear of being alone on the island) now sat in a sort of cage below deck of the pirate's ship. The pirate, a well known villain, was Captain Hook. Shrek had heard of him before, but Arthur hadn't. There were three cages. Two of them next to each other, one occupied by Shrek and the other by Arthur and another cage across from the other two, shared by Puss in Boots and Donkey. Donkey was laying down, asleep, while Puss was sharpening his claws.

"I hate my luck," Arthur complained, folding his arms across his chest and pouting.

Shrek looked over at the boy who was leaning miserably against the wall. Shrek almost felt bad. It was kind of his fault for bringing him here. If he had taken responsibility for being king, Arthur would be safe at his school right now. Shrek had seen that some of the students bullied Arthur, but he wasn't aware all of the students had done so, nor was he aware of how severe their treatment towards Arthur could be.

"I'm sorry for forcing you to come with us," Shrek said, not making eye contact. He never liked apologizing.

Arthur shook his head, "It doesn't matter. I thought it would be better than staying at school... It's my fault too."

"No... It isn't really," Shrek argued, "I didn't know Charming was going to do this... but I should have seen it coming... I should have known."

Arthur looked at Shrek, "Like I said... It doesn't matter. I'm screwed either way."

"What do you mean?" Shrek asked, "you find being a prisoner has the same appeal of having to do homework?"

"What? No... I hardly ever do homework. Usually someone steals it before I have the chance, so I stopped even trying. I'm failing almost everything," Arthur informed him.

"Heh heh... You'd make a great king then," Shrek joked, "What's so bad about your school then?" he asked, "besides the homework thieves, I mean..."

Arthur looked down at his hands, which were in his lap. He sighed, "If you didn't notice... I'm not the most popular guy at school," he said.

"Oh... well, neither was I... If you can believe it," Shrek told him.

Arthur looked up at him, "But I'm sure no one picked on you... You're like... seven feet tall... Everyone hates me. I even tried to be nice to them, but they all hate me... Even the biggest losers at the school hate me. I can't make friends with anyone! Even the new kids who don't even know me... they all turn against me eventually."

"Well," Shrek began, misunderstanding the magnitude of the bullying Arthur received, "it's just high school... people say mean things sometimes, but it won't matter in the long run. I know it can feel hurtful, but you just have to ignore it sometimes. Being a teenager is tough. You guys are all pretty moody and mean to each other... but you'll grow out of it. They will, I mean. The kids in your class, when they are all grown up, they'll see that the mean things they said to you were immature. High school is only temporary."

"I don't think you get it!" Arthur responded, "They are _really _ mean... Did you see what they did to me right when you got to the school? I was their jousting target..."

"Well, why did you let them do that to you?" Shrek asked.

"Because..." Arthur began, looking down at his hands again, "because... Lancelot said he was going to break my arms if I didn't."

Shrek looked at Arthur, "Would he really do that though? I mean, weren't there teachers around?"

"He's broken my arm before... The teachers just make fun of me when I go to them for help," Arthur told him, "... I don't want to talk about this anymore," he said, turning away from Shrek and leaning his forehead against the bars of the cage.

Shrek and Puss in Boots looked at each other. From the other cage, Puss had been listening to them. Both he and Shrek now looked uneasy. Neither knew what to say.

"Well," Shrek began, "... if this counts for anything... at least you're not there anymore, right?" he laughed nervously, a forced laugh.

Arthur turned to look at him, "What are they going to do to us?" he asked, now seeming much more serious than Shrek expected. When he had first encountered the boy, he seemed immature and much like many teenagers. Shrek had guessed he was one of the younger students at the school, which would explain his level of stubbornness and immaturity, but it was beginning to seem he wasn't so immature after all, and likely only stubborn because he was tired of always being pushed around.

"I don't know what he's planning, Arthur," Shrek told him, "but I'm going to do everything in my power to see that Charming fails at whatever he has planned."

Arthur smiled at Shrek. He suddenly didn't seem so bad anymore, "I'll do what I can too," he offered, knowing he couldn't offer much in the way of strength, but also aware of how witty he could be when the occasion called for it, "and if it's my duty to be king, I'll do just that."

Shrek smiled back at him, but still felt somewhat bad, since it was really not Arthur's responsibility at all, but his own. He nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh... and you can just call me Artie," the boy told him, "everyone else does."

"Alright," Shrek agreed, "...Artie."

"So... do you have a plan on how we can break out of here, señors?" Puss in Boots asked.

Arthur looked at Shrek.

Shrek shrugged his shoulders and then looked back at Puss, "you're a cat... Cats are good at escaping things... why don't you think of a plan?" Shrek suggested.

"Claro que si, señor," Puss responded, "Of course I could... but I would only be able to find a way for myself to escape. You see, we felines are so good at eluding partially due to our curious size. I would be able to squeeze myself out easily, but would not want to leave you down here to some horrible fate."

Arthur looked at the cat, "Why don't you break yourself out then, and look for the keys to our cells throughout the ship, and bring them back down here?" he suggested.

"Perhaps that would work," Puss agreed, "I shall do so, immediately." The cat found a point in the bars where they were a bit further apart than normal, and with a bit of maneuvering, managed to squeeze himself through, "Adios, señors. We shall meet again quickly," he said, tipping his hat and then quietly running up the stairs.

"Be careful though," Arthur added just before the cat would out of ear-shot, "don't get yourself caught... I wouldn't want them to punish you for trying to help us... Just be careful."

Shrek looked at Arthur again. He was very considerate. Perhaps he would make a good king after all, despite the fact his first impression of the boy made him certain he was weak and childish. Being concerned for the well being of others was a trait all _good_ kings should possess, a trait which most _actual_ kings rarely possessed.

"What?" Arthur asked, noticing Shrek looking at him.

"Oh... nothing," Shrek responded, "I was just thinking... I think you'll make a great king."

Though Shrek was being honest, his honesty was uncharacteristically nice, and Arthur took it to mean the ogre was making fun of him. He frowned, "I may not be perfect, but at least I'll be fair," he said, looking upset, "I won't bully people... or-"

"Artie!" Shrek interrupted, "I was being serious... I think you are a very caring person. And you aren't narcissistic, which is rare among teenagers, and even rarer among kings... It will be a pleasant change."

Arthur didn't look quite convinced, but decided to leave the conversation alone. People rarely paid him genuine compliments, but perhaps the ogre was one of the few who meant what he said.

"So... why did they send you to find me?" Arthur asked, changing the subject of conversation.

"Well..." Shrek began, trying to think up a nice lie, "I'm a friend of Fiona," he said, "She's your cousin, right?"

Arthur shrugged, "I don't know... Family isn't a big part of my life."

"Ah... well, she's the king's daughter, and he died. She doesn't have any siblings, so you're the closest heir. She didn't want to go find you so soon after her father's death, so I came in her stead," Shrek told him.

Arthur nodded, "oh," he responded simply.

"What about you?" Shrek asked, trying to keep the conversation going so they wouldn't be sitting in awkward silence, "how did you end up at Worcestershire?"

Arthur frowned, "my dad sent me there," he said, "...he was tired of having me around, so when I was twelve, he sent me away."

"Twelve?" Shrek asked, "and he sent you to a high school?"

Arthur nodded, "yeah... he bribed the administrators into letting me in early... He just wanted to get rid of me..."

Shrek nodded. He knew how it felt to have a father who didn't really care much about him, "So... how old are you now?" Shrek asked. He thought the boy looked somewhat young, compared to the other students, but figured maybe he was just naturally a small person.

"I'm fourteen now," Arthur told him.

Shrek nodded again.

"That's why everyone picks on me so much. When I first got there, I was younger than everyone else," Arthur told him.

"Yeah... high school kids can be pretty cruel... They love singling people out like that..." Shrek noted.

"I've noticed," Arthur agreed.

Arthur and Shrek both looked up when they heard someone coming down the stairs of the ship. The footsteps were far too loud to be that of Puss in Boots, so they knew it was likely Captain Hook. They hoped he hadn't found Puss and wouldn't notice he was no longer in the cage.

No such luck. The pirate held the cat by the back of the neck, "Did ye think ye'd just send the cat, then, hm? Sendin' a wee little feline ta do yer dirty work then? Aye, a pirate'd naught be tricked by ye so easily," the pirate began, "Aye, I'd be thinkin' ye did! An' figure ye'd get away by means of tha cat stealin' me brass an' escapin' ye? Ya lot a' blunderin' scalewags, ye be!"

Arthur and Shrek both looked at each other, with confusion evident in their facial expressions.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"I say," the pirate began again, "ye aren't gonna be gettin' away with stealin' of me brass an' escapin' just as easy as a stale bottle be thrown o're-board, young lad!"

Arthur shook his head, "I don't know what you're saying," he informed Hook, "Half of what you said doesn't make sense... and the other half isn't even real words..."

"Arrr," Hook growled, "Ye be tauntin' me an' me language?"

Arthur nodded, "I guess so..." he said.

"Aye... an' ye be thinkin' yer quite funny, hm? Pokin' fun at me?" the captain continued, "maybe ye won't find it so funny when yer out here doin' some real work then? Maybe I outta put ye out here ta man tha ship them, hm? Ye mightn't be worried yerself so much about what words ye don't an' do use if ye have ta be doin' work."

The pirate took a key out of his pocket, unlocked the lock on the cell which Arthur occupied, and opened the door. He grabbed Arthur's arm pulling him out of the cage. Shrek couldn't help but feel concerned, but when Arthur turned and gestured a quick wink in his direction, the ogre knew the boy had some sort of plan. He just hoped whatever his plan was would work.

_xxxxxx_

_**doo-dee-dooooo...**_

_**This is a pretty awesome story. (that was a review from me, to myself.)  
**_


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